Reviews up your wazoo! Yahoo!

Hey Kids! It's the Great Kazoo with reviews you can use!  Reviews up the wazoo!  Yahoo!

Working day in day out means I can't spend much time on the blog lately but I'm determined to get back up to speed ASAP!  As a result, I'm going to quickly review the latest and greatest that Nintendo has to offer.  I've bought quite a bit of new material lately and have lots to report.   Let's get started.

1. The World Ends With You (DS)

Blarg.  Sucks. I don't know why this game was generating so much hype.  It's boring as Hell.  Sell.

2. Okami (Wii)

Yep, a port from the PS2 but one of the best games of the year nonetheless.  The control scheme was made for the Wii Remote and Nunchuk.  Technology has finally caught up to this title which was a little ahead of its time when it was released.  Beautiful watercolor artwork, engaging story, atmospheric music.  A must buy.

3. Super Dodgeball Brothers (DS)

Do you have a friend?  If not, don't bother with this title.

4.  Extreme Space Invaders (DS)

Addictive for about five minutes.  It's like "Hey!  Remember Space Invaders?  Yeah, those were the days."  And then you're done.

5.  Arkanoid (DS)

In order to keep the price down the paddle was left out of the North American release.  For whatever reason, I bought it anyway.  No paddle = dealbreaker.  Forget it or import it from Play Asia.

6.  Guitar Hero: On Tour (DS)

Kids if you don't have the money to buy this tite then go into your mom's purse, look through her wallet and just steal the money.  You owe it to yourself.  Even though my hands now resembles a bug's claws this game is still pure gold.

7.   Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift (DS)

I hate titles like this that follow the Title (Subtitle): Tertiary Title format.  But I'll forgive this game's pretentious moniker and give it a buy rating.  A very deep and entertaining game whose ROI is extremely high.

8.  Lego Indiana Jones (DS)

I love the Lego Star Wars titles and quite enjoy the Lego Indiana Jones cart.  It's really quite good.  Only one gripe and that's carried over from the other Lego games:  Opportunities to save are few and far between (you have to finish a whole episode before it will autosave).  It's really a downer when you have to leave your DS on sleep all day and can't switch out your game until you play through the whole scene.  Every DS games should include a save on request function.  It's a damn portable after all!  What happens when my bus ride is over?

9.  My Weight Loss Coach (DS)

Embarassing to buy but a very cute "game."  The pedometer works great and it will actually make a difference in your life if you play it every day.  Which I don't.

Pinball Hall of Fame: The Williams Collection

It was a chore even finding this title in the wild.  Greasy Long Mane over at Scabies Games told me that it just came the other day but then why has it been for sale on Amazon for the last few weeks.  Whatev.  When I finally found this on the shelf I grabbed it without thinking.  Imagine my surprise to find it's a bargain proposition at $19.99!  Bonus.  I was ready to pay FIFTY BUCKS!

Long story short, the hype around this game is all deserved.  It really is like you're standing in front of these old machines in a pizza parlor in the 80s drinking RC, listening to Rush and trying to beat ACE's high score.

The tables have been recreated perfectly.  At least as far as I can tell.  My memory's a little shady in this area and I've read that a couple of tables are missing ball locks or something.  Dunno.  What I do know is that if you like pinball you'll love the controls for this game.  With your Remote in one hand and Nunchuk in the other you can almost feel your hands wrapping around an old school table.  Shake either controller and you can shake the table and maybe save a drained ball or too.

Great stuff and the price makes this a buy.

CrossworDS

Thanks to the new Nintendo Channel I was able to download a demo of CrossworDS onto my DS before trying.  I played through a couple of puzzles and I was hooked.  I purchased it the next day. I've previously played the New York Times Crosswords cart for the DS and although I found the puzzles of a very high quality I wasn't a fan of the clunky interface.   That's not to say New York Times Crosswords isn't worth it; it is and I highly recommend it at a $19.99 price point.

Between the two crossword titles however I prefer CrossworDS.  The only flaw with the game is the impossible to google title.

The fit and finish of this game is what you'd expect from a Touch Generations tite (yes I wrote "tite"):  gold of the purest percentage.  The input system is very good and will seldom make a mistake once you learn its quirks (enter a lowercase i instead of an uppercase I for better results for example).  If you're riding a shaky bus it is difficult to enter text without errors. The game uses the "hold like book" orientation of the DS that feels great for a text game like this.  There are 1000 puzzles here that gradually ramp up in difficulty.

As a bonus two other games are included: Anagrams and Word Search.  To be honest, I've been hooked on the Anagrams lately and haven't done a crossword in the last couple of days.  The two extra modes don't feel like add ons at all but something I'd have paid for separately.

The best part of the whole deal is the price point: $19.99.  You simply can't miss with this title.

The demo is still available through your Wii if you're still on the fence but if you have even a passing interest in word games and especially crossword puzzles this title must find a space on your shelf as soon as possible.

 Strong buy.

Diary Girl

Enjoy this review for Diary Girl from guest reviewer Suri:

Why it sucks:

1. You can only type 300 characters a day in an entry
2. The games it comes with to play are booorring i.e. match game
3. The other features are boring (a clock, calculator and paintmode)

It's kinda good cause you get to personalize the front of your diary and it has that wicked password to keep ratboys out
and the girl you design to look like you is kinda fun but you have to keep playing with all the other boorrrring features to unlock new outfits ..( and new games)

The actual journal part is the best cause you get to add 3 emoticons for each entry;
one is a smiley face depending how you feel that day, one is a weather icon and the other is
a reminder for that day. And you can flip back to any day by just going through the calendar and tapping on it. But 300 characters isnt enough. they should take away all the other stuff and just make it a diary. There's a chatroom too but your friends have to have the game to talk to them.

If Diary Girl would have space to hold all my secrets it would be a girl's dream.

I give Diary Girl a 4/10 on other websites but on Leave Luck to Us I'll mark it as a "Sell."

IGN takes a look at Arkanoid DS

Seems that the included paddle hardware is top-notch gaming gear but the game itself could be a bit better. Come on Taito; release this over here. I'd love to see how homebrewers would make use of the paddle.

Professor Layton: Playing through

Professor Layton and the Curious Village was released on February 10th.

I didn't follow my own advice: I didn't pre-order. Fortunately though I did manage to snag a copy on Sunday fresh from the box. Unfortunately, I found I had paid $5 too much and returned it. Come on, five bucks is five bucks. I'd rather the game and a pizza instead of just the game. Am I right? I bought it the next day at another store. My point here is that it was a circuitous route that I took to get my game but get it I did.

Was it worth it? Yes, but the game isn't without a couple of flaws.

The game is perfect from an artistic viewpoint: the 2D cell-shaded figures are eye candy and hurdy-gurdy music creates the perfect atmosphere. The presentation is very cinematic and you'll feel like you're watching an anime during the cutscenes. And the localization team did a remarkable job. Almost too good; no engrish here. Charming describes this title perfectly. Beautiful looking game from top to bottom.

The meat of the game is the puzzles. How are those?

Most of the puzzles I've found are very interesting and really got me thinking. I love digging up new ones. A couple of the puzzles I've encountered so far have some problems. For example, a matchstick puzzle that I found fairly straightforward would not accept my correct answer because the matchsticks were not placed exactly where the computer was expecting them. At that point I have to spend hint coins trying to figure out how I can better place the matchsticks so I can salvage some Picarats. Some of the puzzles I've found too easy and some are near impossible without a math degree. The game does allow you to use the touchscreen as a scratch pad on most (but not all) puzzles. And the background art on the bottom screen makes it hard to see what you're writing. An option for a blank slate would have been welcome for some of the puzzles where I need to use a little algebra.

The problems though are small and I found myself overlooking them.

What we have is very original game that looks great, plays great, and has one or two minor flaws.I stand by the strong buy rating on this game. Grab a copy now if you haven't already so you'll know what the rest of us are talking about. Buy.

Geometry Wars: Galaxies

Didn't I just review this? Surely I did. Oh, that was for the DS version of course. This is a review for the Wii game. I just grabbed this one for under $30 and I wanted to assure fans of this title on the DS that the Wii game is well worth adding to your library too.

In fact, I prefer it. If you read my DS review you'll see that I felt the controls were lacking a bit. With the Wii you can now plug in a Classic Controller and use the dual analog sticks for the full experience. Also this version includes the space warping effects that were left out of the DS cart. Even better, I can connect my DS to my Wii and unlock that last DS level and I can play two player; versus or co-op.

I played it on a 70" television and the experience was mind blowing.

This definitely rates a buy. If you can only afford one version of Galaxies grab the Wii one. It offers better value for your money and it's worth it just for the smoother control scheme.

(I just want to remind everyone that this is Geometry Wars: Galaxies. Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved was the title of the original XBLA game and it's included as a bonus on this disc. Galaxies is an entirely new title. It includes levels organized by galaxy and planet, an upgradeable drone, and geom collection. Whereas Retro Evolved was a little $5 game, Galaxies is a fully-featured and deep SHMUP well worth its list price.)

Advance Wars: Days of Ruin

Did you know that the "D" in "D-Day" stood for "Day?" It did. And the "H" of "H-Hour" stood for "Hour." It's a popular myth that D-Day was a shortening of Doomsday.

I bring this up because today is D-Day in two senses: Today is the Day that Advance Wars dropped and the game begins with a depiction of Doomsday.

It was safe to say that I was going to be picking up this title regardless of outside influences. Firstly, now that I'm reviewing games myself I find that I don't read other reviews as much as I did because I don't want to be swayed by them. Secondly, I like Advance Wars: Dual Strike so much that I felt that I owed the developer's a free shot at my wallet on the next title.

So I picked up my pre-order today and I've only just started playing it but I felt that I should post something as soon as I could to assist readers in deciding whether or not to pick this up. I hope to follow up with a more detailed posting but as of right now this game rates a strong buy. The art and music are sublime. I've already been drawn into the post-apocalyptic scenario. The new COs are very exciting and the controls are spot-on. All in all, so far so great and I don't foresee any changing of my initial assessment. I haven't even taken a crack at the Wi-Fi game yet. As far as I can tell there is no risk in picking this up right away.

Grab it today because tomorrow you might be hit by a bus.

Buy.

Daigasso! Band Brothers

One of the first 50 games ever released for the DS you may wonder why I'm only reviewing this now. This is a new site and I've only just now managed to get my hands on this title. And if you've been sitting on the fence then a review like this one for a Japanese import can never really be "late."

Yes, the menus are in Japanese. Yes, it will frustrate you until you figure out what the heck is going on. Yes, it is worth it.

Normally when I get frustrated by a game for any reason I drop it like it's hot and move on to the next one. After all, there are hundreds of DS titles to get to so why waste any more than a few minutes on a stinker? Daigasso! Band Brothers frustrated me. Navigating the menus was like trying to get across the Atlantic with a New York subway map and a broken compass. But I saw something underneath the murk; underneath the haze. Something grabbed me and pulled me in wanting to play more. I stuck it out and now that I have half a clue of what's happening on the dual screens I'm hooked.

Daigasso! Band Brothers is a rhythm game that can be compared to Rock Band but with some key differences. It was released four years prior to Rock Band, costs a lot less, fits in your pocket, supports more players and more instruments, and allows users to compose their own tunes to play with their bandmates. Don't have any friends? Don't worry because the single player campaign is every bit as addictive.

You choose your song, choose your instrument (some songs feature 8 different tracks) and then it's your standard "hit the button when we say" rhythm game. The fun is in learning all the different instrument parts which all have their own difficulty ratings. Then you've got to unlock all three difficulty levels. When you start you've only got to worry about hitting D-Pad or ABXY; it doesn't matter which direction on the D-Pad or which button you hit as long as you differentiate between control cross and buttons. The higher levels indicate exactly which buttons to hit and then level three has you concerned with sharps and flats using the triggers.

The one downside may be that many of the songs are not going to be instantly recognized by your average North American. Didn't bother me any and, as mentioned, if you're handy with the composer you can edit in any song you like. New songs are available in Japan as downloads. But really it's all about the gameplay so don't worry about the J-Pop and Japanese television themes. Smoke on the Water is included so there's at least one you'll know.

Really makes you wonder why Nintendo decided to skip their plans to bring this to America as Jam with the Band. Maybe current successes like Guitar Hero and Rock Band will change some minds at NOA HQ. Please?

However, don't risk waiting too long for a release stateside. Import this one now so you'll have it.

Strong buy.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Dark Motives

This game is about as good as the television property it's based on. In case you don't know, the show is shite

After powering up the cart you find that the top screen is entirely occupied by tabs and menus. It looks sort of like the MS Word Options dialogue box. There are more menus on the touch screen. It just seems really amateurish. Not what I'd expect from Ubisoft but exactly what I'd expect for a licensed game like this one. You can tell that the developers had a meeting, probably on a Thursday night, and decided that the game was done, it was working, and they could either take the day off tomorrow or come in and add some polish. I guess they couldn't resist the call of the long weekend.

If I were to do a detective game I'd give the character an equipment bag with his equipment in it; not a Tool Menu, an Evidence Collection Menu, an Evidence Detection Menu, a Locations Menu, a Case File Menu, a Suspect Menu and who knows what else. There are enough menus here for a dieter's convention.

Seems like a small issue but clicking through all these menus takes away from the gameplay. I didn't feel like a CSI, I felt like an administrative assistant trying to keep my filing cabinets straight.

The first investigation could have used a better story too. When I heard the details of the case I thought to myself "Isn't this really a civil matter?" Without giving too much away a stuntman has an accident but he's fine. He feels there was nothing suspicious about the incident and doesn't feel an investigation is warranted. Who called the CSIs in then? No death, no charges, no motive, no payoff, no suspicious circumstances; he's a stuntman for gosh sakes. Surely accidents are part and parcel of this guy's lifestyle. We're supposed to think that the motive has something to do with the low ratings of Mr. Stunt's television show. I guess an accident would up their ratings. Dudes, why not just make up a better stunt? Or make crashing the stunt. You seemed to be able to pull that one off without a hitch. I really didn't get it. After talking to the stuntman in the hospital--he was only there to visit the cafeteria I guess--I felt like the whole thing was wrapped up and let's get back to the office and wait for someone who actually needs Crime Scene Investigators.

Brass felt differently though so off to the scene of the events in question. Everyone was a dead end and since there was no money or murder involved I wondered why I was bothering and if there was a Coffee Menu. At the crime scene you sift through menus to find your fingerprint lifter or swab to collect evidence. The game mechanic can be described as "Find the hotspot." You sweep your stylus over the crime scene and when the cursor arrow turns to another, different kind of arrow you know you should take a closer look. Then you cart your evidence back to the lab and some jackass in a white coat tells you that the broken spring you found is a broken spring and that the metal broke. Thanks Einstein. Did all these computers tell you that?

Then you show your fingerprint you found and scan it in the computer and guess what? Every suspect has priors so you've got your man as soon as you lift a print. Just like in real life.

At this point I started falling asleep and pulled this cart out of my DS. I was done.

Skip this and dig out your copy of Policequest. Now there was a cool game. Remember that old Sierra title? Or try these DS alternatives: Hotel Dusk: Room 215, the Phoenix Wright series, or Trace Memory.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Dark Motives: Sell 'er.

My Spanish Coach

Uno, dos, tres, quatro, cinqo, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez, once, doce, trece, catorce, quince.

(i hope that was correct)

How did i do? Did i spell them correctly? Less than half an hour ago if somebody said those words to me i would respond by praying that their condition is not contagious and i'd be out the door. BUT, less than half an hour ago or there abouts, i opened up the seal on "My Spanish Coach" for the DS and powered that sucker up. I always wanted to learn Spanish, but, there was never a book that would hold my interest long enough for me to get anything out of it.

Recently i found out that the newest contributor to this site,"Jimmy" sang the praises of "My French Coach" (which he will probably write about soon, i hope) so i crossed my fingers and gripped my teeth and avoided black cats and didn't walk under ladders and hoped that "My Spanish Coach" would be just as awesome to me as the French version is to Jimmy.

Now, because of the power of the Nintendo DS, i can count to BLOODY 15 in Spanish! I sware i wrote that list at the top by not looking at my DS.

The cart teaches you a certain amount of words and only when you master a certain amount of words can you unlock the next phase. If you don't master each section within a phase you have to retry. But, you know what? I love retrying. The games being used to teach you each word or number totally writes the book on kickassness when it comes to language learning games. Not like i played many, but you know what i mean.

There's even a dictionary in the cart, a list of phrases. Hell, now with my Nintendo DS there is no way i can go to Spain fearing to ask somebody where the nearest pisspot or bathroom is. Say you run into Sanchez, and you don't know how to actually pronounce a phrase properly, the chick in the game pronounces alot of important phrases and words and numbers. There's also a scribble pad you can draw funny Spanish doodles onto with your stylus, or scribble something onto. It's like a piece of paper. A vital tool when travelling.

Anybody out there wanting to learn Spanish and has had a difficult time learning through books, PURCHASE THIS CART! Schools wanting to teach Spanish, burn your old Spanish teaching tools and purchase a Nintendo DS with this cart for each one of your pupils! This game rocks more than Bree and Tabby trying to do a "dance-off" in Animal Crossing. This game has all the tools you need to confidently travel Spain.

Purchase this game NOW!

Jackass: The Game

I love Johnny and all his jackass buddies but I hate this game. After playing for five minutes I thought my DS was broken. The audio was muddy and the levels were all off. The graphics were blurry. I've played a lot of junk but this takes the cake. I made better games in BASIC in my ninth grade computer class. I'm stunned by this dreck. The only explanation is that this game is the ultimate Jackass stunt and its victim is its audience. Nah, even Steve-O wouldn't be that big of an ass.

Meet me at my house tonight and we'll hunt for the bastards that unleashed this monstrosity on the world. I'll have enough pitchforks and torches for everyone.

Looney Tunes: Duck Amuck

Remember Duck Amuck the 1951 Warner Brothers classic about Daffy battling an unseen animator? It's a classic and may seem like an odd choice on which to base a DS title but bear with me. Fifty seven years after the release of Duck Amuck we have a ubiquitous handheld that includes a touchscreen and could conceivably allow anyone to take the role of Daffy's tormentor in that remarkable film. It's a daring idea and one that doesn't always work but I have to applaud the effort and the few lightbulb moments this title triggered.

The game starts with a white screen. And then Daffy walks on. This is by far the most delicious moment in the game. You have a blank canvas with Daffy Duck flappin' his bill at you and you hold the animator's brush. Think of the possibilities. Instinctively, I tried to erase his head so I could redraw it as a flower remembering one of Bugs' gags. This is where the game disappoints. Nothing happens and it's a real chore trying to find what will make something happen. Admittedly, when I stumbled upon a gesture that would get Daffy going it felt good. Real good. But if a title ever screamed out for an action palette this is it. I'd love it if the bottom screen was bounded by Bugs' blotter, pens, and paint that I could click on to give this a bit more structure and to provide a clue of what to do. If you wait long enough something will appear on screen that you can tap on. Tapping on it will unlock a mini game that breaks you out of the experience but allows you to earn some points that will fill up Daffy's rage meter. The idea is to get Daffy so enraged you break his...spirit. What can I say? Chuck Jones is a sick man.

The mini games aren't that bad and can even be engaging but as I was playing them I would find my mind wandering back to that blank canvas and the possibilities it might hold. Of course, I was also starting to realize that this game was heading in a much different direction than the one I wanted it to.

The blank canvas serves as a skeleton to hold together the meat of the title: the mini games. I was crossing my fingers that the canvas part of the game was the game. And as a menu it doesn't really work because you have no clue what to do to provoke Daffy in unlocking a mini game. Normally, that kind of "figure-it-out-yourself" gameplay would appeal to me but the rewards aren't good enough for me to want to explore too much. The better you do the quicker you're into a mini game and away from Daffy.

My vision for this title would have been the blank screen, Daffy, the player as the hidden animator and ditch the mini games. Without a doubt, keep the free play aspect. Don't even include a hardcopy manual with the game. My title would probably be closer to a tech demo than an actual game but it would be a very satisfying way to spend a couple of hours. I guess what I'm describing is an illustrator's version of Dr. Sbaitso based on the Duck Amuck flick.

Overall, this title is good and like I say the mini games are pretty nice actually. The graphics are amazing; vintage Chuck Jones artwork which brought out a smile from me. Daffy's character is humorous and endearing and talks up a storm which really gets you into the game. You could do a lot worse for a mini game compilation than Duck Amuck. The only thing it didn't live up to was my imagination and my assumption of what Duck Amuck was going to be about which isn't really fair. I have to applaud Warner Brothers for going out on a limb and realizing this title.

You can find this title for $20 so I wanted more than anything to rate this a buy but I can't; it's a hold.

WordJong

Seems like we're being overwhelmed by a tidal wave of crap lately but that's to be expected around this time of year. Companies shovel out the garbage before Christmas in an effort to capture a piece of retail's hot game-on-game action. It's also the nature of the beast. The DS is the most popular system in history and its library of games seems to expand at the same rate as the universe so you're bound to get a lot of stuff that ain't worth playing. Don't despair though because the DS is still home to hundreds of remarkable titles for you to enjoy. When browsing Gamestop's shelves you might get lucky or you might not so instead leave the luck to us so you know which is which.

Soon enough the good stuff is going to start right back up. Not soon enough you say? Here's a title that isn't absolutely terrible and, in fact, is pretty darn good: WordJong.

What if Scrabble and Mahjong hugged real close and made a little baby? That baby might very well be christened WordJong.

If you haven't played Mahjong (and unless you're a wrinkled old bat you probably haven't) the idea is you match up tiles in an attempt to clear them all. Tiles that are covering other tiles can be matched but not ones that are covered. WordJong gets rid of the obscure Chinese pictograms and instead uses good old American lettered tiles. A matching set won't help you here; you'll need to come up with a word instead and the longer the better.

My biggest surprise with this game was how complete the dictionary seemed to be. One of my problems with playing computer Scrabble for example is the limits of each dictionary: SOWPODS, TWL, OSPD. So far WordJong hasn't rejected a word that I've played and knew to be valid which impressed me. Good stuff.

Best part of the whole deal is you can try it free right now from the WordJong website. Now that might be a deal breaker for some who don't see the need to pay for something they can have for free but I'd say this cart packs enough value to justify its $19.99 pricepoint. Shoot, the ability to play anytime anywhere is enough of a deal maker.

The game features a calming soundtrack and some real head-scratching gameplay that should occupy you until the next round of quality releases.

I'm going out on a limb here and rating WordJong a buy.

Dragon Ball Z Supersonic Warriors 2

Skippin down and continuing along pile o' crap video games road, i stop and smell the flowers and come across our next disaster, Dragon Ball Z Supersonic Warriors 2.

Now i'm a die hard Dragonball Z fan. Well, i don't go out and and eat a wad of burgers and paint myself pink in order to purposely look like Majin Buu. But in my own little Dragon Ball Z world, i consider myself a hardcore fan.

I wish there was a DBZ game that truly caught the feel of the cartoon series. Unfortunately this particular version caught my hands wiping the tears away from my eyeballs. To be blunt, this game sucks! With a capital X.

The game would have been fun if the combat wasn't so damn easy. I love how all the enemies are in the game but every single enemy is just so easy to beat. There's no excitement to it. The script blows chunks more than a badger does after each of it's meals. There are grammamaticalla...gramma..gr...grammatical errors throughout the game. I like the art in the game and the fighting is actually nice N smooth. The weapons are pretty enjoyable. If only more time was spent fine tuning this game i'd probably sleep with it under my pillow case, but sadly, i'm not even sure i remember where i put the cart.

If you're a DBZ fan and want this game as part of your collection, then i advise you to purchase it, but keep it sealed up in it's original package. Otherwise if you're just lookin for a good game to play......don't buy this horse crap.

DS Review Grab Bag

I'll take a break from playing Animal Crossing to catch up on a few reviews. This time of the year is traditionally slow in terms of releases so let's backtrack a little before we get cooking again with the new stuff.

Solitaire Overload

This game would win an award in the category of "Most Accurate Title." Truly I was overloaded by the amount of solitaire contained in this cart. With over 100 versions of solitaire broken down into families you'd have to love solitaire a whole lot to consider this one. I had no idea that many solo card games even existed. If your goal in life is to enter and win the World Solitaire Championships then better grab this cart today and start training. It'll also help if your life is already all about solitaire because the instructions are pretty light for each individual game.

I've got to give this one at least a hold because you get exactly what the box describes. If you really like solitaire then this has to be a buy.

Jenga World Tour

I'll admit it: I started thinking up mean stuff to say about this title before I even powered up my DS. I mean come on a video game version of Jenga? How could this possibly turn out? I couldn't believe how surprised I was to find out that this game was even worse than I could have ever imagined. There is a special place in Hell reserved for this game. I can't figure who makes up the market for this game. I'm guessing it's three year olds who can read and spend time with Grandma in EB: "'Gramma! JENGA!' 'That's right honey! Jenga. Let's see I did say you could have one thing today. Do you want Jenga?'" Honestly, it's the only scenario I can think of that would result in a sale of this title. I'm not even going to explain how you use the stylus to take a block from the middle and put it on top. One thing I can say though; just as I was about to turn this steaming pile off I was told my next challenger was an alien from an intergalactic race obsessed with Jenga. For whatever reason I waited to see who this alien might be and what he looked like. But now that I've admitted that I hate this game even more.

Sell. And then burn the money you got for it.

Dr. Seuss: How the Grinch Stole Christmas

It's a kids sure but does that mean it has to be so very bad? Kids deserve a lot better than this. Why even bother making a Christmas game at all? Who's going to be playing this in July? Worse, I'd hate to meet the kid who's all "Mommy! It's November! Almost time to get out How the Grinch Stole Christmas for DS!" Goodness. I was almost going to be swayed on this game when I realized it was sort of a stealth game. You have to maneuver the Grinch around and steal presents without anyone seeing you do it. Sounds promising but then the goofballs wore off. Look, I acknowledge a kid might like this and the presentation isn't the worst I've seen but my point is that you can do a lot better with your DS dollar by closing your eyes and feeling around the rack at Gamestop.

I'll sum this one up with a quote from Professor Julius Sumner Miller addressing critics who thought his lectures might prove too difficult for children: "The best must be made to reach and it will serve them all their lives."

Sell.

Left or Right: Ambidextrous Challenge

Played through the evaluation round and was surprised to learn that I "favor" my "right" "hand" over my "left" hand and that I'm not alone and that most people seem to "favor" a hand! Stunned I played on in an effort to correct this apparent disability but then I came to my senses and snapped this cart in half; using my dominant right hand. A disaster. I think Nintendo needs to start issuing licenses to companies looking to publish "training" games to cut back on some of this junk. Shovelware in that I want to hit this thing with a shovel.

Sell this can of garbage. Don't peel off that plastic; you'll be sorry.

Math Play

This game isn't in the same league as Brain Training in terms of quality of gameplay and training value. I will say though that parents who subscribe to Highlights Magazine for their children will probably see some value in this title. Cute little animals and fairly challenging math questions for children to chew on are the reason this game was a hit in Japan. The biggest problem is there is only one mode of gameplay: equation making. Over and over with the equation making. I bet Japanese mothers drool at the thought of having junior grinding his way through this and that's exactly what'll it be for most kids: a grind.

Hold I guess.

Back to Animal Crossing. Wake me when Advance Wars: Days of Ruin comes out.

Von Kaiser's Best of the DS 2007

The year is fast approaching its wrap party. A tsunami of titles overwhelmed the little village DS but thankfully I have a bucket and sponge and can help clean up the overflow. Let's reminisce...

The best of the best of 2007:

Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords

A strange hybrid of puzzle game and RPG that somehow works out perfectly. The kind of title that is so good that a sequel would be a disservice to the original. One of kind; let's hope it stays that way. Puzzle Quest: You are victorious!

The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass

A gimme. Come on, when would a Zelda release not make a list of the best releases of the year? The ignorami complain that Nintendo recycles titles like Zelda every couple of years but if they continue to make games this great then who cares? I'm astonished that a title based on a twenty year old franchise still manages to be fresh and fun. You have to give credit where credit is due. Phantom Hourglass picks up where Wind Waker left off and offers a brand new control scheme that is touch screen only. Easy pick for Game of the Year.

Geometry Wars: Galaxies

A port that turned a five dollar download into a full-featured time sucker. It'll leave you wanting to dust off that time machine you have out in the garage in an attempt to kill off Euclid before he can unleash the horrible destructive might of geometry.

Picross DS

A puzzler that has probably ridden more public transit than a welfare bum with a subsidized bus pass. Great fun and a relief from all the Sudoku titles pouring in.

Master of Illusion

The biggest surprise this year. A fun little gem of a game that uses the DS as your magic hat as you perform illusions for your friends and family. You'll be the hit of the party with this title in your DS. Guaranteed to make Zombie Houdini crap his pants with wonder and whimsy.

Pokemon Diamond and Pearl

The kind of game that you don't want to play too much in one sitting because then it'll be over too soon. Comfortable as a warm boot, Pokemon is your best friend on the subway from the job you hate back to your apartment on W63rd. "My Pokeymans; let me show you them." has turned into something of a gentle mock but it'll become your catchphrase in all sincerity after capturing a few Pokemon and stuffing them into their Pokeballs.

Contra 4

The Return of a Legend. I'm not going to write any more on this. Don't be dumb. It's Contra. 4.

Hotel Dusk: Room 215

This one squeaked in with a January release date. Hotel Dusk is one of the most stylish adventure games I've ever played. Beautiful pencil sketch graphics paired with an atmospheric soundtrack captures a pulp novel from the 40s but is, for whatever reason, set in the 70s. Gorgeous. If Geometry Wars is the girl you want to date, Hotel Dusk is the woman you want to marry.

Panzer Tactics DS

An impressive WWII strategy title with over 150 units and a depth of gameplay that will make you think even the bottomless pit can't be this deep. Some might compare this title to Advance Wars: Dual Strike. Not me though. Dual Strike is the better game overall and one of the best franchises Nintendo holds. Still lots of room for Panzer Tactics however. Can I just say again that Advance Wars is the best? I only wish it was a 2007 release so I could write more about Advance Wars: Dual Strike. Unfortunately it was an '05 release so I'll just have to leave it at buy Advance Wars: Dual Strike right now. Even if you already own it.

Biggest Disappointment

Spelling Challenges and More! Absolute garbage. I wish I knew that the "and More" referred to a bowlful of cold diarrhea before I laid out 30 clams on this title that can most charitably be called "broken."

Runner-up: Having no luck when it came to setting up SvSIP Such a tantalizing proposition; use your DS as a telephone. Why won't you work for me?

Best Homebrew

Colors! It'll hold you nicely until Bob Ross' Joy of Painting is released in 2008.

Best Accessory

Nintendo Headset

No longer do I have to shout "BLUE" into my DS's built in mic when playing Brain Age. Nice design too.

Memories

Finally, an emotional goodbye to my original DS; a piano black unit I bought used at 1UP in March. After 240 consecutive days and 1000 hours of playtime its trigger were broken and the touchscreen felt like a sandbox under my stylus. I traded it in for $75 and used that towards a brand new polar white unit. I'll miss you John M! You served me well.

World Series of Poker 2008: Battle for the Bracelets

Ever since "Rounders" I've enjoyed poker and specifically Texas Hold 'Em, by watching it on TV, reading about it, and playing video game versions.

I'm not sure why but most poker video games I've played have been lacking something. Some don't include avatars, some have crummy AI, some don't allow you to skip all the animations after you've folded pre-flop; one I played didn't allow a player to go "all in!" This is the first poker title that's been able to keep my interest for more than a couple of days.

This title includes tons of licensed players including Phil "The Brat" Hellmuth, loads and loads of statistical features, nice artwork (I love how this game deals your cards face down and you have to "peek" at them unlike every other game I've played that deals your cards face up. Nice detail.) and an amazing career mode that really captures the climb to the top. Also included is a heads up ladder challenge and cash games that pop up from time to time. You're informed of the cash games by a call on your cellphone. The title also features some nice full motion video of venues in Vegas in the cut scenes. Nice stuff that really adds to the immersion.

The statistics and tools that are included are really top notch and could easily serve as a training program for an aspiring player. You can quickly check the hand odds, the percentage of hands you've folded pre-flop, the cost odds of the pot and everything else they flash on the screen during a televised WSOP match. Play enough and soon this stuff is really going to stick. I just wonder if the screens could have been better utilized to allow me to have these stats up top during a match.

The only gripe I have about the game is the title. I know that the World Champ of Poker receives a bracelet but if I were WSOP I'd either downplay that little fact or just come up with a better jewellery-themed trophy. How about a ring guys? Works for every other championship. My point is how many guys want to battle for a bracelet?

No wi-fi and the multiplayer requires a cart per player and supports up to nine players.

Personally, this is my pick for the best poker title on the DS but I'm sure this won't be the last poker title either.

I can't give this game a buy rating because it's for poker fans, and more specifically Texas Hold 'Em fans, only. Others are going to be hurting for wi-fi. Finally, you can't save mid-game so you have to finish a whole match first which can take an hour or more easily. So overall, this is a "hold."

Sea Monsters: A Prehistoric Adventure

Being totally absorbed by the game Animal Crossing Wild World for the DS, i did realize that there are other games for the pocket console. So i decided to try my hand at SEA MONSTERS A PREHISTORIC ADVENTURE. Personally i wish this game was fossilized, never to be played again. I would have had more fun picking up a fossil and tossing it against an Xbox.

On the package there's a comment stating "Experience the adventure of the giant screen film". I experienced something, but what that was i don't know. Maybe a sense of sadness. I wanted to like this game. I wanted to be a sea monster and swim around a prehistoric ocean. Cool concept.

I'm not a huge graphics guy. I believe in my heart that if a game is fun, graphics don't matter a whole bunch. Problem was, the graphics are crap and the fun is lacking. I played for about 20 minutes and then shut it off.

I really hated when i swam against a land mass, it seemed as though i went through the land mass and back into the water. Kind of like the game couldn't differentiate between the land and water. I know that there's a nerd term for this, which i don't know.

This game had potential. But it just bombed.

I highly advise you not to BUY this game. Don't even pick it up to look at the description on the back.

Wii Dual Charge Station AC

Wii fans, here’s some advice from good old Vanilla Assassin. Instead of going out and purchasing rechargeable batteries for your Wii Remotes, go out and buy yourself the Wii Dual Charge Station.
The difference in price is only about five or six dollars but with the station you not only get the two batteries but also the charging station.
I found that the WDCS juices up my Wii remotes quite quickly and the red and blue light indicators make it look a lot more fun.

This is a definite BUY.